Change is a Process
Written by: Roshini Rampersaud
There are many times that I receive therapy inquiries from the spouse or family member of a potential client. While I appreciate this loved one’s obvious care and concern, I am always sure to explain that unless the potential client in question is ready for the process of change, therapy will not be effective. Well, how does one know if one is ready for change? That’s simple enough to identify, if you can be honest with yourself. Change is a process. Like any process, change has different stages:
Pre-Contemplation: “I have no intention of changing this problem.” -OR- “I don’t have a problem.” Sessions in therapy, if a client can commit to therapy, are likely focused around changing perspective and bringing awareness to the fact that there is a problem that requires change.
Contemplation: “I am aware that this is a problem, but I am not committing to any kind of action to change at this time.” Sessions in therapy are likely focused around what purpose this identified problem currently serves in the client’s life. Sometimes there is secondary gain, meaning the client may see more benefit in holding onto the problem or trauma than changing/releasing it.
Preparation: “I intend on taking action to address this problem.” -OR- “I see the benefit in addressing this problem, and I am creating a plan of action.” Sessions in therapy are likely focused on creating simple, realistic, attainable goals to help the client achieve the desired change.
Action: “I am actively working to change this behavior.” Sessions in therapy are likely focused on accountability for the client’s small changes over time. Therapist and client are constantly assessing and reassessing how effective the client is at implementing these small changes, as well as when these changes begin to feel less like a chore, and more like second-nature or muscle memory. NOTE: This is usually where most clients or their initially inquiring spouse/family members believe that therapy begins. Thus, an unrealistic expectation of therapy is often set for/by the client before he or she ever begins the first session. CHANGE IS A PROCESS. HAVE PATIENCE WITH IT.
Maintenance: “My new behavior has replaced the old behavior.” Sessions in therapy are likely focused on the client sustaining this changed behavior. As with any change, it cannot be temporary or a fad. True change is at the very fundamental level of what the client chooses to do on a daily basis to maintain that lifestyle change.
(Relapse): “I fell back into my old patterns of behavior.” Triggers that were not previously identified or effectively addressed in previous sessions may lead to relapse. Additionally, if the client did not effectively engage in the previous stage of Maintenance, relapse may occur. Sessions in this stage are likely focused on identifying how and why the client slipped back into old patterns of behavior, and identifying if the client is now in the Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, or Preparation stage of change. Essentially, the cycle starts over from one of these three stages.
Be honest with yourself. In what Stage of Change are you?
Positive thoughts and energy, always!
Roshini Rampersaud, M.S., LMHC, NCC